How To Be a Better Consumer of Infertilty Treatment

Once you find that you need the help of an infertility specialist, it is important to talk to your physician and have your questions answered. Many people tell me that they have difficulty talking to their doctor and retaining the information they are given. This is due to the level of anxiety most of us experience when we hear the entire infertility lingo (inseminations, laparoscopies, hystersalpingograms, and so on) being told to us. We ask ourselves: Will the treatment hurt? How many tries will it take to get pregnant? Will I have to undergo what my friend had to endure? No wonder infertility patient’s level of concentration is compromised. The inability to retain information when you are in a highly anxious state is a normal response.  As Grace Moses says in ”Communicating with Your Physician” in a Life Sidelines, “Most people in a crisis remember information bit by bit, which allows them to get used to the reality of the situation and at the same time figure out ways to cope with the stress”.

You might feel stronger in your relationship with your physician if you follow these guidelines developed by Sidelines, an organization that supports women are under incredible stress due to high risk pregnancies.

1. Consider yourself an important member of your health care team. Indicate an interest in knowing your situation. Be your own advocate.
2. Approach Your Physician with Respect and Demand the Same Back- this means learning to be assertive but not aggressive. Be friendly, straightforward, and respect the doctor’s time constraints while seeing that your own needs are met. Recognize that your doctor is a human being who may have a lot of knowledge about infertility but is a human just the same.
3. Ask Direct Questions. One way to counteract the stress is to be ready with written questions before you go to your doctor’s appointment. As questions arise in between appointments, jot them down. Then you can simply write the doctor’s response next to your prepared questions. Another idea is to bring a tape recorder to the office. If you feel uncomfortable interrupting the conversation with writing, you can tape the conversation and there will be no room for interpretation.
4. Express your feelings in a direct but non-threatening way. You don’t want to say, “You don’t spend enough time with me”. Instead, you might want to say, “I know you have a busy schedule, but I feel I need to talk with you for a longer time. When would be a convenient time?”
5. Be Specific. Just as it is frustrating to hear your doctor say “You are not ovulating” without giving you an explanation, it is equally detrimental for you to give general descriptions. For instance, if you tell your doctor you feel funny after you take Clomid, he or she might not pay too much attention. But if you are specific like “I have headaches” or “I am seeing spots before my eyes after I take the medication” the doctor might be more apt to treat you accordingly.