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by By Jennifer Sauer
Posted on Sep 14, 2006
So, the love of your life has left you, your 20-year old cat finally died, or your best friend has moved away. Your gut aches. You are heartbroken. You feel alone in the world. Here’s some advice: Volunteer, volunteer, volunteer!
It’s less expensive than therapy and safer and more rewarding than alcohol or pills. Volunteering helps to heal emotional wounds and can put a little distance between you and your losses. It can turn the tables on personal defeat or deflation, and is the greatest two-for-one deal around--you help yourself and others.
"There is no better way to transcend one's own emotional problems than to reach out to others who are in need,” said Arthur Blaustein, author of Make a Difference: America's Guide to Volunteering and Community Service. “The very act of serving taps into a wellspring of empathy and generosity that is both personally gratifying and energizing."
It’s important and healthy to take a reasonable amount of time to grieve and to pay attention to your emotions but at some point you might want to throw away the hanky and jump-start your well being by seeking opportunities for sharing and regenerating your life. Giving of your natural talents and kindness to others will remind you of who you are and what you have to offer the world, and you will surely benefit when you see your contributions returned to you exponentially.
Of course, when you're feeling low, whether from sadness, shame, anger, or frustration, it's sometimes hard to put yourself out into the world. But simply the act of giving to others can quickly change how you feel about yourself. You will no longer be a needy sad sack crying in your cornflakes alone at home; but a hero, a provider, a bringer of blessings. And any way you look at it, being a positive force in the world feels good, and therefore benefits your health and well being on every level.
Whether you choose to comfort cocaine babies, to teach rock-climbing to underprivileged children, to become an environmental activist or to offer your professional expertise to those who can otherwise not afford it, you can easily find a situation to match your interests, available time, geographic location, and abilities.
First, ask yourself what you want to gain from the experience. What moves you, and what talents or abilities you would like to share? Are you concerned about the environment or geared towards community issues? Do you love music or the arts? Space or science? Do you have a special affinity for animals or children? Do you want to expand on a hobby like photography or playing an instrument? Are you a good listener or carpenter?
The next step is to figure out what kind of time investment you want to make. One weekend per month? A day or two a week? One intensive week? This will also determine what kinds of opportunities will match your needs. Once you have narrowed your goal, go ahead and start researching potential venues.
If you want something close to home, check out the possibilities around town. You can contact local churches, hospitals or public schools for ideas. How about helping to build a choir with elderly people or being a docent at your local museum? Teach someone to read. Be a guardian angel to a small business or organization just barely making ends meet. If you like working as part of a team and pounding nails, see if Habitat for Humanity is in your area. You can provide a home for someone who might otherwise live on the streets. You could also check out Big Brothers or Big Sisters organizations or the local home for pregnant teenagers.
The more adventurous person might want to consider a short- or long-term international volunteer stint like I did when I showed up at Mother Teresa's Mission in Calcutta, India. I was assigned to play with one-year old orphans for a week during my travels. You could assist scientists to preserve vital information about rain forest plants in Ecuador or help to save sea turtles in Hawaii. Taking a vacation and making it a volunteer experience can be life altering and uplifting. It's a great way to experience new places and peoples, and to allow sheer fascination to take over dark old feelings. It is also a great way to take a vacation "alone", as you will find yourself surrounded by new friends and more structured activities. Do an Internet search by typing in a country or region where you're interested and the word "volunteering." See what happens. Or do a search on a subject that interests you and see where it might take you (i.e., you will find sea turtles in Hawaii, Costa Rica, Florida, and elsewhere).
There is no shortage of volunteer opportunities for any duration, location, ability, expertise, interest, or age group. Volunteering multiplies the blessings in your life and those of others while strengthening your spirit, softening your sadness, easing your loneliness. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."
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